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UNITRICYCLE Suit beginner PO BOX 34
MOVIE POSTER Silence of the Lamps-sensible offers only PO BOX 53 See this item
STUPID BOY WANTED No experience necessary. Ideal time waster or layabout
FLAME RETARDENT FISH Suit japanese barbecue enthusiast. No time wasters. Box 54 Battle
GARAGE SALE Many useless items including tat, rubbish and tasteless objects. Mrs. Anthrax will be serving weak tea and scones made from iron filings in the refreshment shed. Come early to ensure disappointment! St. Botolph's Unorthodox Episcopalian Chapel, Wadhurst
CRUSHER KIT crush voles, budgerigars etc with the small device, or buy both and crush a whole range of animals. Now goats, sheep, even small horses can be easily crushed with little effort. Thanks to it's revolutionary design, The Crusher™ fits easily into pocket or handbag. Small Crusher £3.99 Large Crusher £5.99 Both ££8.99. PO BOX 427
COLLECTOR seeks Wombat-related items. Best prices paid. Also anything Italian. PO BOX 377
BANISH Unsightly knees. Cream £2.99 surgical trousers £17.99 + VAT. Cheque or PO to Kneegon, Box 99, Liverpool 8
CHILDREN'S PARTIES Uncle Stanley is due for release on 15th July. Booking now-Uncle Stanley Ward 9, Broadmoor
RAILWAY ENTHUSIASTS Come along to the Frankie Vaughan Community Centre
at Crowhurst from June 30th when Ted Mallard will be exhibiting his sleeper
collection. Illustrated catalogue available.
CONVENTION (GENEVA) Some pages missing hence £5 gwb@whitehouse.com
WAR PLAN Hardly used. Doesn't work very well, hence £5. Also Road
map of Peace See this item.
Offers. D.Rumsfeld, Pentagon USA
STUFFED ANIMALS We are currently stocking the following taxidermatised creatures: marmosets (3 left), axlotl (plenty in stock), fallow deer, giant galapogos turtles (de-shelled), Zimmermann's Gazelle with pursuing jaguar (1 only), please make cheque or PO to: Static Beasts, Hut 34, M'Bibwi Industrial Estate, Kenya
RARE MAGAZINE COLLECTORS! • PRACTICAL SPOONS MAGAZINE issue no.001 circa 1939. Mint condition.Sensible offers. see this item COOL SHADES MAGAZINE final issue! (no. 02) Mint £25 ono see this item PO Box 19. Upper Dicker
WALLPAPER Beautiful Malmberg & Plano velvet finish anaglypta in Niagra grey with mahogony stripe, approx 15 rolls. Cost new over £700. Used once only. Still on wall, hence £5. No time wasters.
NOVELTY ITEMS all in stock: Wobbly lady, Rubber teeth, harmless bacteria, bottomless watering cans, exploding plums, amusing pants, x-ray penis, joke lawnmower, cat dandruff plus many many more. terrific fun for all ages. Send SAE for free list + surprise joke parachute harness to: NOVELTAT Inc, Freefall, Nevada
ROCKING HORSE MANURE urgently required by collector. Otter stools, Jersey cowpats, coypu droppings. Best prices paid. Also have rare S.American armadillo pupu for sale (offers over £75pp) + many other scarce faeces. SAE for list and free surprise sample to ANIMAL CRAP PO BOX 37, KNEUGH, SURREY
OLD stuff. Some very old. £3,000 ono. No time wasters.
TABLE Antique mahogony drop leaf dining table circa 1808 with inlaid
maple top featuring Alexander at the fall of Carthage, seats 10. Carved lion's
foot legs and polished brass fastenings. Scene of grusome murder hence £5
ono. Lower Dicker 353
BOOK SALE Legend of the Dark Spoons By Hugh Jaarce (1st edition slightly
foxed) £35 Tintin & the Belgian Eels Hergé Very RareWalloon
edition(mint) £253.75 Cheer up it's only a Shoe by Dr. Quentin
Hellsley-Wellsley (page 42 missing) £5ono
NO TIME wasters please. Telephone 07778 553361
TROUSERS Worsted trews, golf trousers, pinstripe studebaker ,with sewn-in sandbags, gopher pants, luminous bellbottoms, flapdoodles, parachute trousers with absorbent arse, croquet knickers, French ham trousers (100% ham), judge's breeches with wig pocket, saxophone overalls with extra fly. All in stock or visit our website on www.trouserama.kek.uk
BUDGIES Blue or green cocks £5 hens £6.75. Also some Golden Eagles. PO BOX Lyer 455
FOR SALE Large antique washbasin c1880. Still has original water with bits of whisker and toothpaste spit. £375 ono. No time wasters Please. PO Box 329
WORRIED? Have your goldfish tattooed with your name and address. Send PO with fish to: SECURIFISH, PO BOX 977. THE LYER
BARGAIN German super strength condoms. Used once only, but knots difficult to untie hence £5. No time wasters. BOX 448
WANTED Pair of WW2 goatskin swimming goggles, any condition, best price paid up to £50 or swap for Michael Jackson horror mask. PO Box 695
FOR SALE Small toy water pistol, plastic. Can be re-activated for athletics
meetings, bank robberies, drive-by shootings etc. BOX 66 TheLyer
ITEM FOR SALE Fulsome & Poons 15 gauge double barrel revolving Indian Rifle
(circa 1892). Redwood stock with ceramic beer holder and built-in 15k silver
plated family portrait frame (containing an autographed photograph of Miss Lottie
Malibou the silent film actress). Clip- on "Buck Rogers" telescopic sight (not
original). Engraved barrels ("Life without death has no meaning" on left barrel,
and "Who ate all the pies?" on right). Hair trigger (with spare hairs), and
pack of 500 Harare-tipped "Squaw Widow" dumdum ordnance items. Comes complete
in original tiger and dolphin skin fitted case by Bille & Bungerlough of Atlantic
City, Formerly owned by Charleston Van Blitzen (of the Boston Van Blitzens),
who only used it for shooting the odd uppity servant, and now in the possession
of the pyjama magnate Rudolph Gaggenpumper Jnr. The asking price is $15000US,
or might exchange for a Playstation 2 with games. PO Box 577 The Lyer
